I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
