So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
