Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I feel like abortions should bother me more
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
