It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
