I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
