I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
