im about as happy as oj after his trial
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize