Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
