Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
