my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
