look no pants
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
