so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize