i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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