If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
