I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
