No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
