she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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