I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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