Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
one might say we're banned from that church
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
