I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
