Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
