She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
