dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize