You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
