And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
