i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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