So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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