why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
