I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
sarcasm needs its own font
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
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