wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Congratulations! We have a period
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
