I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize