We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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