ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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