I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
