I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize