The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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