i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize