I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
