Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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