perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
