I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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