like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
