also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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