Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just had sex on a roof
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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