Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
