dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
