Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
