Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
