I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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