I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize