We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
