would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
