Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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