She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
