Someone shit on the floor
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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