thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
