You can't motorboat a personality
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
