At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
