hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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