I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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