It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
