East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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